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Overheard today, while waiting to buy lettuce and a loaf of bread:

Cashier: “Do you think they have the 4th of July in England?”

Customer: “No, I think it’s just here.”

Cashier: “Y’mean they just go from 3 to 5 and skip over the 4?”

Customer: “No, they have the 4, too.  They just don’t make it a holiday like we do.”

Cashier:  “Oh.”

I hope your 4th was as entertaining as mine. :)

From the “if only they asked me, I coulda told them” file:  A new study says whining is the worst sound in the world.

The Borowitz Report is reporting, Republicans: Trillions Could Be Cut from Budget if We Eliminate Empathy.

Speaking on behalf of congressional Republicans, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA) said today that trillions could be cut from the Federal budget if Congress can agree to eliminate empathy.

Rep. Cantor noted that “the word ‘empathy’ comes from the Greek word ‘pathos,’ meaning ‘pathetic’ – and that’s exactly what helping people is: pathetic.”

Sources say that the “Repeal Empathy” effort promises to be a key feature of the 2012 Republican Platform!   I haven’t heard who the GOP Convention keynote speaker will be (Scott Walker?  John Kasich?  Rick Santorum?); but that person will, without doubt, need visual aids like this one that I put together.

The Slippery Slope

Kill me now – Part 2

Kill me now

From Friendly Atheist’s, “This is why we can’t have nice things, America,” my first response was the same as commenter Steve’s:

So now we have to justify why evolution is taught? WTF?

As you know, Jesus said,

Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be aborn of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God (John 3:5).

Did you know that those clever Mormons have found a way around this requirement? It’s true. Just ask George Carlin.  He was baptized, confirmed and initiated as a Mormon in 2010, two years after his death.

George Carlin

According to the teachings of Joseph Smith and the Mormon Church,

(God) has made it possible for members of the Church to help people who were not baptized when they lived on the earth. We can do for these people what they cannot do for themselves.

But, I would guess that if George had wanted to be a Mormon, he would have said so during his life; on the up-side, as a dead Mormon man, he gets very own planet to populate (Fife 103) – and how cool is that?

I found this story (and others) at Famous Dead Mormons — as well as this comment left by George Carlin’s brother, Patrick.

I am George’s older brother, Patrick and I am laughing my ass off.  George would have loved this whole scene.  Religious screwballs (excuse the redundancy) have kept us Carlins laughing for a long, long time.

Down in DC for George’s Mark Twain Prize.  I was in a limo with my son Dennis and my niece, Kelly.  We saw a bunch of christians demonstrating and shouting “George Carlin is in hell.”  We laughed and Kelly said, “Dad would be so proud.”

This Baptism for the dead is equally absurd.  Right up there with throwing virgins into volcanoes.  Religion, when you just don’t want to use your brain.

Patrick Carlin

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